Programs, Recitals and a Kitty...oh my!

The school year quickly went by.  Taylor finished his freshman year with a 4.0 and Parker finished his first year of junior high with a 4.0 as well! Mason finished up his 4th grade year with excellent E's and Emma had high marks her first year of school as a Kindergartner! We are proud parents! They work so hard and are so intelligent! It's always so fun to watch the end of year programs that the elementary school kids get to do. We are lucky that they have such great teachers!

                                          Mason and Mrs. Cropper

At the end of May, we also get to watch Emma's dance recital!  She has grown quite a bit as a dancer/performer.  You can clearly see that she has more confidence and is loving what she does. We keep asking her if she would like to try sports or something else, but no...she just wants to DANCE! That's my girl!

While we were at the ballpark my kids saw someone giving away free kittens.  Well, I am not a lover of  cats, however, my kids have been begging me for a pet (mostly a dog) and I kept telling them we were not home enough for a dog and it wasn't fair to the poor animal.  Dogs require A LOT of attention and in my opinion are worse than a new baby! Anyway, I never had pets growing up and I always want to do things different than my parents so....a new kitty was the compromise (since they are a lot less maintenance than a dog)! He is a cute little kitty though. But he is in the house more than I would like him to be!

                                             Milo

Better than I had

First of all let me explain that this is not a pity party on my childhood.  I had very good parents who did the best they knew how to and could at the time.  With that being said, I want better for my children.  I think we all do in one way or another. 
I am not a perfect mother.  I don't claim to be.  But when it's said and done, I want my kids to think they had the best mom ever.
That is why I do what I do, second guess everything, and push through even when I want to throw the towel in, curl into a ball and call it quits. 
I want my children to have good...no.... great self esteem.  To be leaders and confident enough to take chances, or push through when the whole world is beating them down. To love themselves even if it feels like no one else does.  To know of their value as a son or daughter of God and to know their worth.
I want my children to have a strong spiritual foundation.  To know that there really is a God who loves them unconditionally, who wants what is best for them.  For them to be able to trust him ALWAYS and have faith in him.  To have a relationship with him, talk to him, and have a desire to follow him, knowing it will bring them true peace and happiness.
I want my children to have opportunities.  To be able to see things and experience life; find what they love and do what excites them.  I want them to have every opportunity to excel and become the best they can be at something.
I want my children to feel nurtured and unconditional love from me.  (Maybe the most important on my list)  I want my kids to know they were the most important thing to me.  To know that their lives and happiness were top priority to me.  To never feel like they took a back seat to my needs or wants.  To know I have their back 100% of the time and that no matter what I love them ALWAYS.  Not because of who they are or what they do, but because they are my child.            

Random Event/Thought

Since I don't blog regularly, I have a bunch of random thoughts running around in my head.  These are the top two at the moment.

Random Event
Drew got hit with a baseball bat last night.  A good ol' swing right to the gut.  Me, being the caring wife that I am, basically told him to buck up and rolled my eyes quite a bit.  He was still in a lot of pain today so he made himself a doctors appointment.  I asked him what the doctors at the clinic were going to do because they only know how to write prescriptions.  Needless to say they were a little worried about his kidneys so they sent him over to the hospital for a cat scan.  Thankfully nothing was seriously wrong; just swollen and bruised insides.  Enough to get him out of Saturday cleaning (DARN)! 

Random Thought
Last weekend Taylor played baseball in Las Vegas.  We left the other 3 kids home.  Ooohh sweetness!  Those were the best 3 days I've had in a long time!  And the sad part is that I enjoyed myself so much because my three youngest were home.  Does that make me a bad mom?  Don't get me wrong.  I love my kids, but here's how my days went...
Roll out of bed when Taylor and Drew left for the ball park....Get me, and ONLY ME ready for the day....Casually make my way to the game, stopping at Dunkin' Donuts for breakfast....Carry ONE CHAIR into the ball park, finding a perfect spot to watch the games....Watch the games without passing out all my money to bored children for snacks and worrying that they will get lost or kidnapped.....Go back to the hotel and freshen up for dinner.....Eat a relaxing dinner...Give Taylor money to go hang out with friends.....I am ALONE...Go to a movie on a whim (1 ticket please!!)....Gamble while Taylor sleeps....You get the picture.  I got a glimps of what my life will be like when my children are gone and it excites me.  Then I feel guilty for being excited.  I am reminded of last weeks Modern Family episode (If you don't watch it, shame on you!).  Cam and Mitchell have dropped in for a visit at the Dunfeys house.  Everything seems to be going wrong and they ask if they've come at a bad time.  Claire (aka Courtney) screams out "Come back in 7 years and 5 months when they're gone!)  I often find myself thinkig this.  So again I pose the question, Am I a bad mother, or do I just need more Vegas getaways?

Our Little Angel

March 1st marked the 6 year anniversary of the day our little boy entered and exited our presence. His only mission here on earth was to receive a body. What a valiant spirit he must be! I am so honored that I was able to help give him the only thing he needed and that I am able to call him my son.

That is not to say that this experience came without pain. It hurts to bury a child. I didn't like it one bit. It also was the moment that I realized that Heavenly Father was in control and I wasn't. What a hard lesson for me.

Although the rest of the world did not know him I had 8 months of joy, getting to experience him growing and moving and feeling that bond that a mother and her unborn child get to. He was very much alive to me! How I cherish those last days of listening to his heart beat, and feeling each and every move.

I believe that he would have loved to stay here on earth with his family, but knew of the good he could do on the other side. And I KNOW that although I cannot see him, his spirit is very much alive doing important work that he could only do from there.

I am thankful for the experience, I am thankful that my family and I have something to work towards and I am thankful that I have the knowledge that I will see him again.

Stress

This is my calendar for the month

That is one of the reasons I am stressed.

Addict

Hi my name is Courtney and I'm a foodaholic. We are not talking good for you food either. I'm not joking. I have a real problem. I really wonder if this is what it feels like for people that are addicted to drugs and alcohol. I can't say NO. Every morning when I wake up I tell myself, today's the day that I am going to eat to live, not live to eat. Depending on the day I can last until about 10am, or 12 at the latest. I eat if I am sad. I eat if I am happy. I eat when I am tired. You get the point. If the food is in front of me it will soon be inside of me! I think my brain doesn't tell me when to stop; and I don't stop until my belly won't expend any further. Yes, this is most definitely a problem.

I don't appreciate how much I love food and how much it hates me right back. You should see the things it has done to my body and yet I still can't stop. Hmmm...bad for my body, but still craving it...you know, the more I write, the more I think this is really like drug addiction. Except my teeth aren't falling out, I am just expanding....and my arteries are probably on there way to getting blocked. It is most definitely time for more naked pics......

Child Bribery

Emma was assigned a talk in primary last week. Previously, anytime she has had to give a talk, scripture, or prayer she would freeze as soon as she got to the podium. Well, I was done speaking for her, so I bribed her yesterday. I told her if she would give her talk I would take her to buy a Dora doll today. Well, it worked fabulous! I was so proud of her! But I had to hold up my end of the deal; so, off to K-mart we went.
When I bribed her I was thinking, I can get a little cheap Dora doll for about $5. Just tiny and cheap. Enough to hold up my end of the bargain. Well after walking through 5 isles of toys tonight, I discovered that you cannot buy a little Dora doll for $5. Try more like $15-$50. So, we had to settle for the $15 one. The one we got talks when you touch her belly and comes with a dog, Perrito (or Burrito as Emma likes to call him).

Here she is telling me, "Just take my picture!"

She took Dora to bed with her tonight. Not sure if that's a good idea since I keep hearing a Spanish speaking voice from Emma's room!

Too Long.....

Holy Moly! I can't believe it has been almost a whole entire year since a last posted. My new years resolution is to be more dedicated to blogging. I am awful at journaling, so this is my attempt to remember my life, write down my feelings, and give something to my posterity! Since I didn't post really anything in 2009, here is a recap. It is long, so bear with me!

Drew's Grandpa Marshall passed away in February. He was very close to him. His grandpa was his #1 fan and was there supporting him in almost all his sporting events. They shared so many great memories. It was really hard for Drew. Drew also had the opportunity to dedicate the grave. It was his first time and as hard as it was for him; he did a great job.

In March we traveled down to St. George for the annual March Madness baseball tournament. With Taylor and Parker both playing, it got a little busy. They both played really well and we had a great time,

Until.....................

We ended up in the emergency room. Parker broke his nose while playing in Washington and Taylor took a bunt to the eye while playing in Mesquite. Drew and I met at the Dixie Regional Hospital in St. George. What a fun night! But we still got to eat at the Bear Paw (our favorite place for breakfast)!

And Parker's nose did get fixed!!

In May, Taylor graduated from the 6th grade (elementary school)! He is all grown up now!

I survived my first year teaching preschool. It was nice to have the summer off. The kids and I got season passes to 7 Peaks. They really enjoyed it! We also did a bit of traveling for baseball (imagine that?)! Both Taylor and Parker's teams went to Evanston, WY where their teams took 1st in their divisions! Yippee....for the win......and no hospital visits!In July we headed to sunny So Cal. Our first stop was San Diego. The Blaze played in a tournament. They did OK. It didn't help that the kids they played against were all at least a foot taller and were growing mustaches (literally)! We also found time to stop at La Jolla Beach And see an Angels game.

What's the best way to celebrate a loss?? Head off to the happiest place on earth of course! I don't know if it was so happy with slave driver Courtney at the wheel. We got up early so we could be the first in line, had a printed schedule, and stayed up late, but dang it, we saw it all!

In August the kids started school again. Taylor now attends Diamond Fork Jr. High. and is loving the change. It helps that Grandma Harrison is there and has his back all the time! Parker is a big 5th grader and when I say big, I think he is one of the tallest. Mason is in 2nd grade and has the best handwriting. His teacher uses his papers for examples on how to write neatly. Emma started yet another year of preschool. It amazes me how smart she is, but then again she does take after me! :)

Mason turned 8 last year and was baptized a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints by his father. It was a special day and he had so many friends and family there to support him. Isn't it great to be 8!

Mason decided to take after his older brothers and started accelerated baseball in the fall of 09. He enjoys being part of a team and is realizing how much work it takes to do well.

Emma also started dance in the fall. She looks forward to Wednesday's! She dances with her cousin Elle (left) and her friend Caylie (right) She is a little shy (not sure where that came from) when it comes to performing, but we are working on her! I don't want my child to be the one that is crying on stage at the recital.

In October Drew and I ran to California for the weekend for my Grandpa Dastrup's 93rd birthday. I was so glad I was able to go down and see him. I love that man! Plus, a lot of the other Dastrup family members were there and it is always so good to see them too. He has gone down hill the last 6 months and needs some help taking care of himself. It is hard for me to see him that way and hard for him because he has been so independent. His children decided to move him from California to St. George with my Aunt Donna. I am glad he is closer to me though! It was hard knowing that was my last time in his house. I have so many memories there. I've spent summers and Christmas's there. It was very much apart of my childhood. I love the poky, thick grass, the squishy carpet in the "formal" living room that was always perfectly vacuumed, the smell of the garage and the bedroom I always stayed in with the pictures of the Dastrup family. It's funny to me that a "thing" is hard to let go of. Why is that? Sometimes I wish life didn't go on and we could just freeze time. I am thankful my dad and mom made such an effort to take me there so I could have all those memories.

Grandpa Dastrup and I "golfing" in the back yard

The House....Thanksgiving and Christmas were good as well. Thanksgiving at Grandma Shirley's is awesome (she does it all)! The kids were spoiled again this year for Christmas, but they knew it. They kept saying "We are so spoiled". Highlights were....Taylor and his cell phone and iTouch , Parker and his new room, Mason and his DSi and Emma and her princess castle with all the princesses!! I am glad they realize how lucky they are. I really want to do a sub for Santa for an entire family this year so they come to love giving more than getting.

The Damage!

Taylor and his iTouch

Parker checking out his new bed (well...the desk part anyway)Mason and his new shoes that make him run faster and jump higherEmma playing Toy Story Mania on the Wii

It was a great year. We have no complaints! However I NEVER want to recap an entire year on my blog again. That was not fun....so......... stay tuned for current updates. I promise I'll try!

What did you say?

Yes, I suck at blogging!! But I just had to add the following so I can remember it!

#1 - About a week ago I was making lunch for Emma and a little girl that I tend. I was making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. The little girl that I tend asked me if they put peanuts in peanut butter. I explained that they made peanut butter out of peanuts and that you could buy crunchy peanut butter with peanuts in it. At that moment I looked at Emma and she had the most disgusted scared look on her face. She said "They don't put peanuts in peanut butter!" shaking her head, and then pointing to her croch "Not like daddys!" Oh yes, that's right, my daughter calls penis's, peanuts! Thank goodness she has eaten a sandwich since then!

#2- A couple of days ago Mason and I were driving back from my mom's house and it was around dinner time. We passed a fairly large home with a backyard that looked like heaven for children. As we passed, Mason said "Mom they have tator tots!" "Tator tots?" I replied. "Is that what they are having for dinner? Can you see in their kitchen?" "No Mom, TATOR TOTS...by their swings!" (Light bulb!!) "Oh, Teeter totters! That would be fun wouldn't it Mason...!"

#3- Yesterday I woke up on the wrong side of the bed. I was stressed! Taylor came home from school and said "Mom you looked stressed" I said "I am stressed, stressed about money." To which he replied, with the most serious look a 12 year old can give "It is cause of Obama? Did he take all your money?" After that, my mood changed for the day.

Now I am just waiting for Parker to give me a random comment. His pelvic thrusts around the house will have to do for now!

Winter Fun

Today I promised to take the kids sledding. I still had some last minute Christmas shopping, errands, and a doctors appt. before we could go. After taking care of all the above I realized that Emma, Taylor and myself actually needed clothes and or boots to sled in! So after spending a crap load of money on "warm clothes" we were finally off! Unfortunately at this point it was 4:30, so there was only 30 minutes left of daylight However, it turned out to be the best time to go. It was not super busy, we got to watch the sun set, we saw the Festival of Lights turn on and were able to hear the Christmas music playing, and to top it off it started to sprinkle snow. What else could you ask for to get you in the Christmas mood? Here are a few pictures I got before my camera died. Good times!!

Rick and EmmaEvie, Mason, JD, Bennett, Parker, Taylor R., Taylor H.Mason and JDDrew and I (yes, the white dots are snow!)

Until we meet again....

My Grandma Apodaca passed away on December 6, 2008. She was my mom's mom. When someone dies you tend to reflect on things you could have done differently while they were still here. She lived in California and we moved away when I was still small. Although I didn't live close to her the majority of my life, I wish I would have made more of an effort to really know her. The things I do remember about her were her happy smile, her genuine concern for her family, and her love for genealogy. Still, I feel I should have known more, been a better granddaughter, and treated her the way that I know she cared about me. She had a lot of history stored in her little brain. Even though she is not here anymore I hope to take the time to listen to the stories from the people that do know them.

I am glad I was able to attend the services and it gave me an opportunity to see family I hadn't seen in many years. It is always sad to me that it takes a death in the family for us all the make the effort to see one another.

Death is also a time when we contemplate what we are really grateful for. I am so thankful for my own mother and the example she has been to me. I am grateful that she has a testimony of the gospel and helped me build mine. I am thankful that she taught me to always put myself in the other person's shoes and to be of service to your fellow men.

Even though we are sad when we lose someone, I am thankful to know that we will see them again and that this is not the end.

My Baby is 3!!

On Friday December 5th Emma turned 3! I cannot believe how time flies! It has been so fun to experience a little girl in our family, however, Drew might disagree! She is feisty, sweet, very independent, a girly girl, but not afraid to get dirty or be tough like her brothers.

The very first present she opened was a new skirt. She was so excited that she put it on with her jammies..

Drew and I took her to lunch. Her request...Chili's. She likes their chips and salsa and queso! After that we took her to Build-A-Bear. That was our first experience there. Boy am I glad that Drew won $50 in gift certificates to the mall! I could seriously lay down some cash there! I want to build my own bear!

When we got there, Drew was trying to talk her into getting the Hello Kitty bear???cat?? whatever....that was his favorite. He skipped right over the Hannah Montana bear. When I showed her the bear, there was no going back. Her mind was set! I even let her put the little thing in the arm that sings "Best of Both Worlds". Emma was so nice to sing it for us all the way home! Poor Drew...

Later that night we celebrated with cake and ice cream. G&G Marshall, Shane & Kerri, Rick & Ali and G Ottesen all came. I think she had a great day! I feel so blessed to have her in my life. We love you Emma!