First of all let me explain that this is not a pity party on my childhood. I had very good parents who did the best they knew how to and could at the time. With that being said, I want better for my children. I think we all do in one way or another.
I am not a perfect mother. I don't claim to be. But when it's said and done, I want my kids to think they had the best mom ever.
That is why I do what I do, second guess everything, and push through even when I want to throw the towel in, curl into a ball and call it quits.
I want my children to have good...no.... great self esteem. To be leaders and confident enough to take chances, or push through when the whole world is beating them down. To love themselves even if it feels like no one else does. To know of their value as a son or daughter of God and to know their worth.
I want my children to have a strong spiritual foundation. To know that there really is a God who loves them unconditionally, who wants what is best for them. For them to be able to trust him ALWAYS and have faith in him. To have a relationship with him, talk to him, and have a desire to follow him, knowing it will bring them true peace and happiness.
I want my children to have opportunities. To be able to see things and experience life; find what they love and do what excites them. I want them to have every opportunity to excel and become the best they can be at something.
I want my children to feel nurtured and unconditional love from me. (Maybe the most important on my list) I want my kids to know they were the most important thing to me. To know that their lives and happiness were top priority to me. To never feel like they took a back seat to my needs or wants. To know I have their back 100% of the time and that no matter what I love them ALWAYS. Not because of who they are or what they do, but because they are my child.
Saturday, May 7, 2011
Friday, April 29, 2011
Random Event/Thought
Since I don't blog regularly, I have a bunch of random thoughts running around in my head. These are the top two at the moment.
Random Event
Drew got hit with a baseball bat last night. A good ol' swing right to the gut. Me, being the caring wife that I am, basically told him to buck up and rolled my eyes quite a bit. He was still in a lot of pain today so he made himself a doctors appointment. I asked him what the doctors at the clinic were going to do because they only know how to write prescriptions. Needless to say they were a little worried about his kidneys so they sent him over to the hospital for a cat scan. Thankfully nothing was seriously wrong; just swollen and bruised insides. Enough to get him out of Saturday cleaning (DARN)!
Random Thought
Last weekend Taylor played baseball in Las Vegas. We left the other 3 kids home. Ooohh sweetness! Those were the best 3 days I've had in a long time! And the sad part is that I enjoyed myself so much because my three youngest were home. Does that make me a bad mom? Don't get me wrong. I love my kids, but here's how my days went...
Roll out of bed when Taylor and Drew left for the ball park....Get me, and ONLY ME ready for the day....Casually make my way to the game, stopping at Dunkin' Donuts for breakfast....Carry ONE CHAIR into the ball park, finding a perfect spot to watch the games....Watch the games without passing out all my money to bored children for snacks and worrying that they will get lost or kidnapped.....Go back to the hotel and freshen up for dinner.....Eat a relaxing dinner...Give Taylor money to go hang out with friends.....I am ALONE...Go to a movie on a whim (1 ticket please!!)....Gamble while Taylor sleeps....You get the picture. I got a glimps of what my life will be like when my children are gone and it excites me. Then I feel guilty for being excited. I am reminded of last weeks Modern Family episode (If you don't watch it, shame on you!). Cam and Mitchell have dropped in for a visit at the Dunfeys house. Everything seems to be going wrong and they ask if they've come at a bad time. Claire (aka Courtney) screams out "Come back in 7 years and 5 months when they're gone!) I often find myself thinkig this. So again I pose the question, Am I a bad mother, or do I just need more Vegas getaways?
Random Event
Drew got hit with a baseball bat last night. A good ol' swing right to the gut. Me, being the caring wife that I am, basically told him to buck up and rolled my eyes quite a bit. He was still in a lot of pain today so he made himself a doctors appointment. I asked him what the doctors at the clinic were going to do because they only know how to write prescriptions. Needless to say they were a little worried about his kidneys so they sent him over to the hospital for a cat scan. Thankfully nothing was seriously wrong; just swollen and bruised insides. Enough to get him out of Saturday cleaning (DARN)!
Random Thought
Last weekend Taylor played baseball in Las Vegas. We left the other 3 kids home. Ooohh sweetness! Those were the best 3 days I've had in a long time! And the sad part is that I enjoyed myself so much because my three youngest were home. Does that make me a bad mom? Don't get me wrong. I love my kids, but here's how my days went...
Roll out of bed when Taylor and Drew left for the ball park....Get me, and ONLY ME ready for the day....Casually make my way to the game, stopping at Dunkin' Donuts for breakfast....Carry ONE CHAIR into the ball park, finding a perfect spot to watch the games....Watch the games without passing out all my money to bored children for snacks and worrying that they will get lost or kidnapped.....Go back to the hotel and freshen up for dinner.....Eat a relaxing dinner...Give Taylor money to go hang out with friends.....I am ALONE...Go to a movie on a whim (1 ticket please!!)....Gamble while Taylor sleeps....You get the picture. I got a glimps of what my life will be like when my children are gone and it excites me. Then I feel guilty for being excited. I am reminded of last weeks Modern Family episode (If you don't watch it, shame on you!). Cam and Mitchell have dropped in for a visit at the Dunfeys house. Everything seems to be going wrong and they ask if they've come at a bad time. Claire (aka Courtney) screams out "Come back in 7 years and 5 months when they're gone!) I often find myself thinkig this. So again I pose the question, Am I a bad mother, or do I just need more Vegas getaways?
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